


Wanting

by Bubbly_Kandy



Series: Wanting [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Adrien is Michael's boyfriend, Crying, F uck This is so bad, IM SORRY ILL MAKE A HAPPY SEQUEL, Jeremy is trans but its really implied, Songfic, Unrequited Love, Youll probably miss it, hhh - Freeform, pining Jeremy, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 03:29:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12696387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbly_Kandy/pseuds/Bubbly_Kandy
Summary: Will Jeremy ever learn?





	Wanting

**Author's Note:**

> Oops

Jeremy was doomed.

 

He was lying on his bed, earbuds in, his phone loosely held in one hand. He stared up at the ceiling, listening to a musical Christine had introduced him to, his eyes half-lidded and blank.

 

_Sometimes we can’t love things_

_‘til we tell them goodbye_

_My homeland… Oh, my homeland…_

_Goodbye_

 

Well, geez. This was a _great_ beginning.

 

He was dozing off until a darker, almost gritty song started playing. He woke up, and started listening to the words.

 

_How could this feeling come again?_

_When I was safe at last, calm at last_

_Freed_

 

The music flowed into a dreamier sound, and Rebecca (the main female lead) sounded like she was looking at her love.

 

_Then I turn around, and there he is_

_And the room is bright where he is_

_Will I ever learn?_

_No_

_I stand here, wanting…_

_Wanting him_

 

Was she singing about Saul?

 

The music turned grittier again. Saul started singing, with Rebecca over-lapping him.

 

_I must be wanting in my brain-_

_I must have demons in my head_

_To feel this dangerous-_

_Ludicrous-_

_Treacherous-_

_Maddening-_

_Need_

 

Why couldn’t Rebecca _see_ that Nathan was bad for her? Saul and Rebecca would be an amazing couple! David would love to have Saul as his dad!

 

Jeremy rolled over on his side, a spark of happiness lighting when he remembered that the music was on Spotify, so he could dick around on Google, looking up the lyrics.

 

Oh, no lyrics. Of course.

 

_Then I see his eyes, and they dance_

_They're filled with lies, but they dance-_

_Then I see her eyes-_

_Will I ever learn?_

_All this stupid, mindless, pointless wanting_

 

_Like a swift summer storm, let it pass_

_Like a hot, midnight fever, let it pass_

 

No, Rebecca, Saul, you love each other. Why is this unrequited love?!

 

_No more wanting,_

_Things that cannot be_

_No, no more wanting him-_

_No more wanting her_

 

Then a pretty-sounding duet that Jeremy couldn’t hear what they- ohh.

 

_End this wanting,_

_Tear it out of me_

_No more wanting_

_For things that cannot be_

 

Jeremy fuzzes out, thinking about that verse.

 

_Wanting_

_Will I ever learn?_

_No_

_I stand here_

_Wanting…_

 

Jeremy stared at his phone. Why was he-?

 

He hit replay.

\---

After the second play, Jeremy suddenly was struck with it.

 

He felt this way.

 

But with who?

 

He hit replay again.

\---

Another replay.

 

He felt more and more like Rebecca in the song, but who was Saul?

 

Another.

\---

_Michael._

 

He felt this way with Michael. What, with Michael’s boyfriend, Adrien, and how they looked at each other and how Michael would hum a song that was Adrien’s favorite and-

 

Oh god.

 

He had a crush on Michael.

\---

Jeremy is screwed.

 

He replayed the song _again,_ for the- what? Fifth time? He started to sing Rebecca’s part, his free hand going to clench at his shirt, over his heart.

 

_How could this feeling come again?_

_When I was safe at last, calm at last,_

_Freed..._

_\---_

Jeremy walked into school, playing ‘Greenhorns’ and humming along. He figured that he was walking with a little confidence, seeing as people didn’t knock right into him, but only little brushes on his arms.

 

He wandered into the cafeteria, ‘Three Sunny Rooms’ playing.

 

_Have I mentioned that I’ve raised a daughter?-_

_I think so.-_

_Then I won’t say any more._

 

“Jeremy!” Jeremy looked up to see Adrien standing and waving him over, a big grin on his face. Jeremy waved a little back, starting to walk over.

 

_Look how nice we talk together!_

_With such interesting discussions,_

_Such a sense of give and take,_

_Y’think?-_

_I guess._

 

“Hey Jeremy!” Adrien chirped once he got over to the table. Adrien plopped down in a chair and patted the empty one next to him, not stopping until Jeremy sat. “How are you?”

 

“I’m good.” Jeremy shrugged, Adrien going back to his own phone after giving him a thumbs-up. Jeremy scowled a tiny bit when he realized that he had missed some of the words, but he didn’t want to turn his phone on at the moment.

 

_Three sunny rooms, facing the street_

_Lucky my landlord could spare them_

_Three sunny rooms, quiet and neat_

_Waiting for someone to share them_

 

Jeremy put his head down, letting the song blast through his earbuds, even then only dimming the sounds of the cafeteria by a little.

 

_Lace on the chair, quilt on the bed_

_Everything lovely but lonely_

_That's how it is when you’re an olden like me_

_Don’t you see?_

_In my three sunny rooms_

_\---_

‘Three Sunny Rooms’ reminded Jeremy of Adrien and Michael. They were happy, and Jeremy was happy for them, don’t get him wrong.

 

Michael was Rachel, and Adrien was Avram. Sure, Adrien acted like Rachel, but Michael was the one that would be the one to suggest living together.

 

Jeremy was Rebecca.

 

_No more wanting,_

_Things that cannot be_

_No, no more wanting for him…_

_\---_

‘Sound Of Love’ was playing when Jeremy walked into math, setting down his books looking up, seeing the announcement of a free hour. Phones were allowed, but only if they were quiet.

 

Good.

 

_She loves my voice!-_

_Yes! And in it, she finds the- what?_

_The will- the courage-_

_Yes, the courage!_

_To go on, and on, and on, and on!_

 

Jake reminded him of Ben. Rich was David.

\---

At the end of the day, Jeremy tripped, stumbling over his feet as his foot spazzed randomly. He fell face-first into-

 

Not the floor. His vision filled with red, and the (slightly gross) smell of weed. He quickly righted himself, looking up at Michael embarrassedly.

 

“Hey, Michael…”

 

“Hey, Jere. Did your foot spazz again?”

 

A silent nod.

 

“That’s just weird.”

 

“I know, trust me.” Jeremy said, exchanging smiles with Michael. Michael strode towards the entry, leaving Jeremy to scurry after him.

 

“Wanna han- sleepover?” Michael asked, digging in his pocket to find his keys. Jeremy nodded.

 

“Sure.” Jeremy looked up at Michael, making eye contact. His heart fluttered, but then he shoved the feelings down a mental backpack that he learned from an American Girl’s magazine when he was little.

 

_Then I see his eyes, and they dance_

_They're filled with lies, but they dance_

_Will I ever learn?_

_All this stupid, mindless, pointless wanting..._

\---

Jeremy could wish that he and Michael could get together.

 

But they can’t.

 

Michael is happy with Adrien. What kind of _monster_ would break them up?

 

Jeremy knows this, and, at home, he cries. He feels weak and pathetic and worthless,but he wails anyways, shoving his face in his pillow and feeling like he was in a TV show.

 

Then, after he cries, he plays ‘Wanting.’

 

He doesn’t cry, but he feels more connected to Rebecca than he probably should.

 

_Wanting_

_Will I ever learn?_

_No_

_I stand here_

_Wanting_

 

He sings only one verse, but then he gets choked up.

 

_No more wanting,_

_Things that cannot be_

_No, no more wanting him._

 

But he can’t.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry
> 
> This is from 'Rags The Musical'! Heres the link: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLojXJ4IlD811X5XsfgBgKyu6XhV-cvmyq
> 
> Its really good!!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
